Forum-Gallery-Shop-Sponsors

« Advertise on Freel2.com

Home > Off Topic > Forum humour !!! (Some Jokes May Offend)
Post Reply  Down to end
Page 148 of 148 <123 ... 146147148
Print this entire topic · 
Lightwater



Member Since: 21 Aug 2014
Location: Sydney Northern Beaches
Posts: 5058

Ukraine 2013 Freelander 2 2.0T SE Auto Fuji White

Three men are captured by Female savages, and are told their penises would be removed in a manner appropriate to their jobs. The first was a lumberjack, so his would be chopped off.

The second was a butcher, so his would be sliced off.

The third man started laughing. The females asked what was so funny, and he replied, "I work for Dyson!" Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

Post #450680 25th Jul 2025 9:44 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Lightwater



Member Since: 21 Aug 2014
Location: Sydney Northern Beaches
Posts: 5058

Ukraine 2013 Freelander 2 2.0T SE Auto Fuji White

Sorry... the best I could do from a long list of pathetic "jokes"! Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

Post #450681 25th Jul 2025 9:46 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Lightwater



Member Since: 21 Aug 2014
Location: Sydney Northern Beaches
Posts: 5058

Ukraine 2013 Freelander 2 2.0T SE Auto Fuji White

An Australian, and Englishman and an American are on a cruise with their wives.
Sitting at breakfast the first morning, the Englishman sets our to impress his neighbours with his affection for his wife.
He says, 'Would you please pass the honey, Honey?'
With this the American chimes in, 'Can you pass the sugar, Sugar?'
Not to be outdone, the Aussie looks at his wife and says, 'Pass the tea bag.'
It is understood he had to be airlifted off the ship to the nearest intensive care ward. Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

Post #450793 2nd Aug 2025 9:26 am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Lightwater



Member Since: 21 Aug 2014
Location: Sydney Northern Beaches
Posts: 5058

Ukraine 2013 Freelander 2 2.0T SE Auto Fuji White

A man is stranded on a desert island for 10 years.
One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit.
Man: 'Hi! I am so happy to see you.'
Girl: 'Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?'
Man: 'It's been 10 years!'...
With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man a cigarette.
Man: 'Thank you so much!'
Girl: 'So tell me how long has it been since you had a drink?'
Man: 'It's been 10 years!'
The girl unzips another pocket on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whisky and gives the man a drink.
Man: 'Thank you so much. You are like a miracle!'
Girl (starting to unzip the front of her wet suit): 'So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?'
Man: 'Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there, too!!!' Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

Post #450884 8th Aug 2025 6:48 am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Lightwater



Member Since: 21 Aug 2014
Location: Sydney Northern Beaches
Posts: 5058

Ukraine 2013 Freelander 2 2.0T SE Auto Fuji White

PERFECTION
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He
gets into the taxi and the cabbie says, Perfect timing. Youre just
like Frank.
Passenger: Who?
Cabbie: Frank Feldman. Hes a guy who did everything right all the
time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like
that to Frank Feldman every single time.
Passenger: There are always a few clouds over everybody.
Cabbie: Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have
won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang
like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should
have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.
Passenger: Sounds like he was really something special.
Cabbie: Theres more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered
everybodys birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and
which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I
change a fuse and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman
could do everything right.
Passenger: Wow, what a guy !
Cabbie: He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid
traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But
Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a
woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if
she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes
highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake.
No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.
Passenger: How did you meet him?
Cabbie: I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife. Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

Post #450939 10th Aug 2025 2:26 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Lightwater



Member Since: 21 Aug 2014
Location: Sydney Northern Beaches
Posts: 5058

Ukraine 2013 Freelander 2 2.0T SE Auto Fuji White

A few words from a program I heard on the radio:


The way wellness influencers will outlive us, is by killing us all.

What's the difference between an influencer & a scientist. An influencer knows they are right.

Bum hole tanning is also known as changing your ringtone. Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

Post #451047 14th Aug 2025 11:01 am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Post Reply
Post Reply  Back to top
Page 148 of 148 <123 ... 146147148
All times are GMT + 1 Hour

Jump to  
Previous Topic | Next Topic >
Posting Rules
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



Site Copyright © 2006-2025 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
Freel2.com RSS Feed - All Forums


Switch to Mobile site