Forum-Gallery-Shop-Sponsors

« Advertise on Freel2.com

Home > Off Topic > Forum humour !!! (Some Jokes May Offend)
Post Reply  Down to end
Page 3 of 135 <123 4 ... 133134135>
Print this entire topic · 
Goldstone69



Member Since: 17 Sep 2007
Location: Huddersfield
Posts: 403

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 GS Manual Tonga Green

....i believe you Whistle Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

Post #9477 3rd Nov 2007 6:55 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Goldstone69



Member Since: 17 Sep 2007
Location: Huddersfield
Posts: 403

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 GS Manual Tonga Green

One for our Australian cousins......

An Aussie, a sheep and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck.
They found themselves stranded on a desert island. After being there for a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down. One particular evening the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the Aussie. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the Aussie took his arm from around the sheep. After that the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed, and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful the Aussie had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to the evening ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the Aussie started to get ?those feelings? again. He fought them as long as he could, but finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman cautiously, and whispered in her ear 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'

Whistle

Post #9480 3rd Nov 2007 7:59 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
carlfraz



Member Since: 10 Apr 2007
Location: Minkies lap dancing club
Posts: 839

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Auto Stornoway Grey

Yeh right UK Dave 104....thats why your wife calls you.....JUSTIN cause you are 'JUST IN' or stud because thats all you are a 'Stud' Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thats why my missis calls me "Holly mother of Jesus your bigger than the TiTANIC and give me more pleasure" but she does like reading fiction Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up

Post #9497 4th Nov 2007 12:28 am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Dave



Member Since: 04 Jul 2007
Location: Somewhere Near You
Posts: 2666

Scotland 2012 Freelander 2 SD4 HSE Auto Indus Silver

And we all know what happened to the Titanic don't we Exclamation Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter ______________________
2011 Full Fat RR 4.4 TDV8
2012 FL2 SD4 Auto HSE
2013 Kawasaki Versys 650

Post #9505 4th Nov 2007 9:11 am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
npinks



Member Since: 28 Jun 2007
Location: Ls25
Posts: 20090

United Kingdom 

UKdave104 wrote:
And we all know what happened to the Titanic don't we Exclamation Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter


she went down and there been tonnes of movies based on her going down too,

Post #9506 4th Nov 2007 10:56 am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Goldstone69



Member Since: 17 Sep 2007
Location: Huddersfield
Posts: 403

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 GS Manual Tonga Green

carlfraz wrote:
"Holly mother of Jesus your bigger than the TiTANIC and give me more pleasure" but she does like reading fiction Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Thumbs Up


Always thought Mary was Jesus`s mum ....who`s Holly Shocked ? Laughing Whistle Laughing

Post #9518 4th Nov 2007 4:20 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
carlfraz



Member Since: 10 Apr 2007
Location: Minkies lap dancing club
Posts: 839

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Auto Stornoway Grey

oop's!! Laughing

Post #9778 10th Nov 2007 5:57 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
muddywheels



Member Since: 02 Oct 2007
Location: East Riding of Yorkshire
Posts: 939

England 

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and
while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place.

The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs
some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table,
grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey
just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off
my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats
everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball
and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with
him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the
bar again.

While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry
on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and
eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey
did now?"

"Now what?" asks the patron.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it
out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still
eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball
he measures everything first!"

Rolling with laughter

Post #9814 12th Nov 2007 10:11 am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
carlfraz



Member Since: 10 Apr 2007
Location: Minkies lap dancing club
Posts: 839

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Auto Stornoway Grey

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter funny that cause the wife...............NO, NO, NO, I'M KIDDING....JUST KIDDING!!!!! Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

Post #9869 12th Nov 2007 9:17 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
npinks



Member Since: 28 Jun 2007
Location: Ls25
Posts: 20090

United Kingdom 
My Perfect Airline

Just Found My Perfect Airline for my holiday on RRS.co.uk

Post #9963 14th Nov 2007 12:29 am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Grimbo



Member Since: 04 Jul 2007
Location: Grimsby
Posts: 72

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Auto Zermatt Silver
WEEWISHU

One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung
Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full
moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey baby, let's play Weeweechu."
"Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon" said Jung Lee.

"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and
it's the perfect time," Huan Cho Begged.
"But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."
"Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me."

Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, "OK, we'll play Weeweechu.



Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang.......





....."Weeweechu a
Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry
Christmas, and a Happy New Year."
And so do I.

Post #9979 14th Nov 2007 1:59 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Goldstone69



Member Since: 17 Sep 2007
Location: Huddersfield
Posts: 403

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 GS Manual Tonga Green
Re: My Perfect Airline

npinks wrote:
Just Found My Perfect Airline for my holiday on RRS.co.uk



Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

Post #9982 14th Nov 2007 2:39 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Goldstone69



Member Since: 17 Sep 2007
Location: Huddersfield
Posts: 403

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 GS Manual Tonga Green
Re: WEEWISHU

Shocking truly awful......... Shocked Laughing Laughing

Post #9983 14th Nov 2007 2:47 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
carlfraz



Member Since: 10 Apr 2007
Location: Minkies lap dancing club
Posts: 839

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Auto Stornoway Grey

Strike grimbo off for that Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter

Post #10131 16th Nov 2007 1:43 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Goldstone69



Member Since: 17 Sep 2007
Location: Huddersfield
Posts: 403

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 GS Manual Tonga Green
Osama letter to Bush

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:

370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain 's MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply "Tell the President he's holding the message upside down." Whistle

Post #10241 17th Nov 2007 8:14 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Post Reply  Back to top
Page 3 of 135 <123 4 ... 133134135>
All times are GMT

Jump to  
Previous Topic | Next Topic >
Posting Rules
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



Site Copyright © 2006-2024 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
Freel2.com RSS Feed - All Forums


Switch to Mobile site