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piattj



Member Since: 18 Jan 2012
Location: where the crowds aint...
Posts: 1235

Wales 2011 Freelander 2 SD4 GS Auto Baltic Blue
Absolutely UNbelievable

...

Take a look.You WILL NOT believe the shenanigans (especially the 3rd one - someone in blue car trying to leave a car park)

https://practicalmotoring.com.au/car-advic...on-camera/

Epic hilarity!

... ...

Be true to yourself. That way happiness lies...

Post #264954 27th May 2015 2:47 pm
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Bill Turner



Member Since: 08 Jul 2008
Location: Birkenhead
Posts: 977

United Kingdom 2009 Freelander 2 TD4 SE Auto Santorini Black

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
'Mummy’, the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age', the mother replied. 'It's not polite'.
'OK', the little girl says, 'What colour was your hair 2 years ago?’
'Now really', the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business'.
Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'
'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
'My Mum won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.
'Well,' says the friend, 'all you need to do is look at her driver's license.
It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are. You are 32.'
The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?'
'I also know that you used to have brown hair.'
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'
And, the little girl says triumphantly, 'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'
'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'
'Because on your driving licence it says you got an "F" in sex'

Bill Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Post #265375 1st Jun 2015 8:45 am
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Bill Turner



Member Since: 08 Jul 2008
Location: Birkenhead
Posts: 977

United Kingdom 2009 Freelander 2 TD4 SE Auto Santorini Black

Hello -- I have questions!


Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?



If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?


Why do croutons come in airtight packages?

Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?


If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?



If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Do Typhoo Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'



I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, Toothpicks?


Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?



Why, Why, Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?



Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint you have to touch it to check?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that, no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that beds are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?

Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it and then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

REMEMBER, A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!

And a day without sunshine is, like...........night!!!!

Bill Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Post #265378 1st Jun 2015 9:00 am
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nick the greek



Member Since: 07 Apr 2015
Location: athens/london
Posts: 139

Greece 

Awesome questions! 2013 SE TD4 in Mauritius Blue [Written off]

Post #265465 1st Jun 2015 7:57 pm
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Landiroamer



Member Since: 30 Apr 2015
Location: Devon
Posts: 1185

United Kingdom 2015 Freelander 2 TD4_e SE Manual Orkney Grey

Front door bell rings and the young girl goes to answer it.
Tracey!! theres a blind man at the front door wants to have a word with you, she shouts back to her friend.
Now Tracey is just about to get into the shower.
Oh isnt it typical she thinks, the most inconvenient time.
Then she thinks oh well what the heck he cant see anything, so she goes to the front door naked.
The blind man standing there says WOW! Nice Tits.

Where do you want this blind hanging love? Rolling with laughter

Post #265545 2nd Jun 2015 11:23 am
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

https://www.facebook.com/1truck/videos/vb....mp;theater At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #266748 13th Jun 2015 1:52 pm
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Navigator



Member Since: 29 Dec 2010
Location: Within reach of the coffee machine
Posts: 492

Scotland 

I think she left a bit . . . . . Mr. Green Everyone can spread it - Anyone can catch it. Stay home - the life you save can be your own!

Post #266756 13th Jun 2015 2:24 pm
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #269092 9th Jul 2015 11:15 am
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npinks



Member Since: 28 Jun 2007
Location: Ls25
Posts: 20090

United Kingdom 

I saw it earlier on disco3

I guess a lengthy chat with his boss is due anytime Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Post #269103 9th Jul 2015 12:50 pm
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

there is vid on youtube of them dragging it back over with a towrope, very rough but its probably written off anyway At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #269108 9th Jul 2015 3:25 pm
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taztastic



Member Since: 03 Feb 2011
Location: North West
Posts: 8652

England 

Post #269274 11th Jul 2015 8:15 pm
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

just home from a weddig an i see nothin wrong with tazs pic Laughing


but im ha happy drunk righr now Thumbs Up long livethefuture Rolling with laughter At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #269286 12th Jul 2015 12:06 am
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #269306 12th Jul 2015 12:49 pm
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Dartman the one



Member Since: 04 Apr 2013
Location: Seville, Spain
Posts: 1676

England 

Now if that had been powered the normal way it would really been impressive Rolling with laughter my PC is slightly to the right of Genghis
2012 HSE SD4 In Orkney Grey now gone, best car ever.

Post #269311 12th Jul 2015 1:26 pm
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lukev01



Member Since: 31 May 2014
Location: Bedfordshire
Posts: 94

United Kingdom 2013 Freelander 2 TD4 GS Manual Santorini Black

Schools now cannot be given a "good" rating unless their results are better than the average for all schools, so now by definition, 50% of schools must be failing.

Click image to enlarge

Post #269317 12th Jul 2015 2:11 pm
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