Hi all,
There are countless posts about "clonks","knocks" and "rattles"and I think I've read them all.
My 2010 HSE has a "clonkety-donk" rattle which seems to be coming from underneath, but my Wife and I argue (really?) about which side or end it's coming from. It seems to get worse the faster the car goes and happens over slight irregularities in the road. Nothing massive over speed bumps etc.

I have done - so far:-
Driven without the spare wheel, jack, parcel cover and rear wheel cover.
Driven with/without passengers.
Checked rear seats & seatbelts.
Put car front on ramps, poked, levered and tapped everything (incl drop links, bars, bushes, etc).
Put car rear on ramps, poked, levered and tapped everything.
Taken each wheel off in turn and poked, levered and tapped everything.
Heaved at each door, bonnet and tailgate.
Listened as someone else drives past - nothing!
Wound the window down and listened - notting obvious.

I can find absolutely nothing, but I'm not an expert.
I just had both an english MOT and French CT, absolutely nowt found!

I would be immensely grateful for any good ideas please. Life is an uphill struggle. Only the gradient varies.

OK, some ideas (not sure how good they are though...)

The issue is speed related - more speed, slight irregularities in the road and it seems worse. Could it be the prop shaft? At speed, it is spinning merrily, but will have almost no load as the haldex will be disengaged... if there is longtitudinal or lateral play in the prop shaft, it could give a dull sounding clunk...

... exhaust - less likely, but check all the shields above the exhaust - especially if your 2010 HSE has the DPF fitted. My 2011 made the most evil sound at low speed (honestly sounded as if the Old Girl was about to expire) - turned out to be nothing worse than the lower shield on the front of DPF was loose.

Good Luck!

Have a look at the drop-links connecting front anti-roll bar to suspension arm….
I remember a friend having similar noise problem on à FL1 years ago….turned out to be the drop link..
Slight bit of play…..made a lot of noise….! FL2 SD4 HSE Lux Auto MY 2012— current
D2 TD5 HSE Man MY 1999 470kmls….gone 2014 ….lovely engine..chassis rotten
D1 300TDI Man MY 1996 56kmls….gone 1999…D2 much better
Wife’s FL1 1.8P MY 2001 32kmls …gone 2007…has Mini since.

Thanks guys, I'll try anything and everything.
We've got guests until Saturday, so I can poke about then.

Just a thought. The car came with a huge A4 folder with all the invoices MOTs etc. I've just gone through it and the car had new rear Bilstein shocks a month ago (only had the car 2 weeks). Could this be the notorious "top fixing rattle" I'm hearing?

Is it possible to verify and ideally fix without removing the shockers? I understand about removing the rear trim panels, but can't get to this until the weekend.

As ever Merci bien everybody Life is an uphill struggle. Only the gradient varies.

On a previous car (not FL2) my mysterious clunking which got worse with speed was a rotted out fixing on the exhaust shielding.
Other than that the drop links can be often overlooked, they click and clunk over bumps out of all proportion to their size. FL2 XS SD4 Auto 2010 2012-2017 (21k - 91k miles) (MY2011)
FL2 Metropolis SD4 Auto 2014 2017- (16k - 83k+ miles) (MY2015)
Metro in its 11th Year of (Extended) LR Warranty / Full LR Service History
(Expensive, but Trouble/Worry free - hopefully?)