A pirate walked into a bar, and the publican said,

"Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The publican replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the publican. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird poop."

"It was my first day with the hook." Replied the pirate.

https://fb.watch/2LkvDa6HoK/ At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

I saw a guy this morning injecting himself with brake fluid.

I asked him if he had lost his mind?

He looked at me and said - It’s ok. I can stop anytime

A free Covid jab, is not to be sneezed at !

3landertwo wrote
A free Covid jab, is not to be sneezed at !

In fact it would seem like a 'shot in the arm' to me ! FL2 XS SD4 Auto 2010 2012-2017 (21k - 91k miles) (MY2011)
FL2 Metropolis SD4 Auto 2014 2017- (16k - 76k+ miles) (MY2015)

-j Every time I learn something new,something old gets pushed out of my brain?

Last edited by V8 offroad on 14th Jan 2021 6:01 am. Edited 1 time in total

IanMetro wrote:

3landertwo wrote
A free Covid jab, is not to be sneezed at !

In fact it would seem like a 'shot in the arm' to me !

Have you heard that the first vaccine for Covid-19 may soon run out as global demand increases exponentially?


Pfizer Chiefs have said, "they predict a riot" Every time I learn something new,something old gets pushed out of my brain?

 Tangiers Orange - gone, missing her
Replaced by Ewok what a mistake - now a happy Disco Sport owner

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

 Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

 DAVE.
I.A.M. F1rst Driver.
Gone 2003 Discovery TD5 Auto,
Gone 1986 Defender 90 Station Wagon
Gone 1984 Range Rover 3.5 Vogue Manual.
Gone 1970 Series 11A/3 SWB 3.5 V8 Hybrid
Gone 1964 Series 11A LWB Van
Gone 1966 Series 11A SWB Van
Gone 1964 Series 11A LWB Station Wagon,

So I said to my wife “if I die of COVID, you must remarry”
And she said “I couldn’t do that, I love you too much!”
And I said “And you change your last name to his if you want”
And she said “Never, I love you more than the stars and the moon and will never forget you!”
And I said “and you should give him my guitars ..”
And she strenuously declaimed “oh no, I could never never ever do that!”
And I asked “why not?”
And she said “he’s left handed” Ex AA Series III LWB Safari - Gone
300TDi Disco (bought new - terrible car) sent back after 18 months
Freelander 1 Estate - leased, given back at end of lease
200TDi Disco (bought from a mate with 100,000 on the clock) - Gone
Disco 2 TD5 - sold and exported to France
FR2 TD4 GS - Gone
FR2 SD4 HSE - Now changed for a DS
New model ex-demo Evoque S 180 in white
Unable to order a new DS, so gave up. Now have a Volvo S90 Recharge.

From another group