A couple was invited to a swanky costume party.
Unfortunately, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early enough, decided to go to the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little touch here and a little fondle there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished...Naturally (since he was her husband).
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed. So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.
He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
"Did you dance much?"
"You know, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Browning and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/THE-VERY-LAST-PO...escription At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

I am sure that some of you will have seen these before but worth an other look.


Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum"
.............................................................................
A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
.............................................................................
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft :censored: !"
.............................................................................
A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "She were thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral.
True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look..
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved "She were thin".
He explodes: "'ells bells man, you've left the bloody "e" out, you've left the bloody "e" out!"
The stone mason apologises profusely and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.
Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason: "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud:
"E, she were thin".
.............................................................................
Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell a**e cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"


Bill T Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

There was a knock on the door this morning.

I opened it to find a young man standing there who said:

"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness ."

I said "Come in and sit down."

I offered him coffee and asked, "What do you want to talk about?"



He said, " if I know, I've never got this far before."


 Wales
Were the mud is thicker, and the ruts are deeper.
(And we have the water to wash it off, and more on the way..! )
Sd4 and chrome Ar*e piece, Auto box for best fun
09 Xs Gone
12 xs Gone
HSE with Leather seats and 4 years warrenty.. staying for now !

I guess he telling Mam what dogging is, since she has a mask on Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

"One doesn't know what to say because the handle on the car behind has somehow got stuck up one's wotsit!" 2013 RR Evoque Pure Tech
2012 TD4 GS Auto Orkney Grey - gone

A bit of Aussie humour.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... kpjnGWPmj0

Bill

This post has been edited by the site administration team
Link fixed
 Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Why women were never sent to the moon?

- Houston we have a problem!
- What is it?
- It does not matter, nothing ...
- What is the problem?
- Nothing!
- Tell us what the problem is!
- No!
- Please tell us what is the problem ..
- You know what the problem is!!!

Big People Words
A group of kindergarteners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade.

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.
"I went to visit my 'Nana'," said Chris.
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" said the teacher.
She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo choo," said Mitchell.
She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words."
She then asked little Alec what he had done.
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said,
WAIT for it


"Winnie the S**T."


Bill Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Nice one Bill  LL.B (Hons) - University of Derby
LOT (Lord of Time) - University of Gallifrey

BBC. Headlines :
The man arrested by police for attempting to steal a combine harvester but then fell inside the machine is due to be bailed tonight...


Bill Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

My mates just got the sack from the dodgem cars - It's OK - He is taking them for fun fair dismissal.

Bill. Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Well... Opened the 2nd door of my advent calendar yesterday morning - wasn't expecting Tom Daley to come out!!

Bill Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Deleted as it appers I've overstepped the bounds of "might be offensive" 2011 MY SD4 HSE + planning some interesting stuff
Previously: 2004 Discovery Td5 ES Premium + lots of stuff
Previously: P38A Range Rover 4.0 SE
Hampshire and Berkshire 4x4 Response Founder and Treasurer

Last edited by andycwb on 3rd Dec 2013 11:14 pm. Edited 1 time in total