This may appeal to anyone who regularly visits web forums (I found it on another forum I visit)




How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?



1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.


7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.


1 to move it to the Lighting section.


2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section


7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs


5 to flame the spell checkers


3 to correct spelling/grammar flames


6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to
condemn those 6 as stupid


2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"


15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb"
is perfectly correct


19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this
discussion to a lightbulb forum


11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs
and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum


36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy
the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique
and what brands are faulty


7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs


4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected
URL's


3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this
group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group


13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all
headers and signatures, and add "Me too"


5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot
handle the light bulb controversy


4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"


13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about
light bulbs"


18 who trip over each other in their rush to say "repost!"


1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

I totally disagree  D4 HSE Lux for me
FL2 HSE Zermatt & Alpacca for the wife now gone
Skoda Yeti L&K for the wife.

Brilliant!! I needed a good laugh

but what if its a low energy light bulb!

She stood on the bridge at midnight.........................

Her lips were all a quiver...............................

She gave a cough, her head fell off, and floated down the river

Some of you may have read this on the circular e.mails that go round, but some may not, it just tickled me, maybe as I could relate to it

Enjoy

JACK & JILL

Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side
"When I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my trousers," he said. "I gave them to your mother and told her to put them on. When she did, they were enormous on her and she said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too large. So I told her 'of course they are too big. I wear the trousers in this family and always will!' Ever since that day, we have never had a single problem"

Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his trousers, gave them to Jill and told her to put them on. Jill said that the trousers were too big and she could not possibly wear them. "Exactly!!" replied Jack. "I wear the trousers in this relationship and I always will, I don't want you to forget that!"

Jill paused and removed her knickers and gave them to Jack....."try these on" she said...., so he tried them on......, but they were too small . "I can't possibly get into your knickers!!" Jack said. "EXACTLY!!!" replied Jill....."and if you don't change your F CKING attitude you NEVER WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

One of my favourites...........

A man was driving along the highway, and saw the Easter rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the Easter rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place, candy too. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colourful rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful, he began to cry.
A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible!" he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter rabbit and killed it. Kids will be so disappointed. What should I do?" The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can.
She walked over to the dead, limp rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the furry animal. Miraculously the Easter rabbit came to life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 yards away the Easter rabbit stopped turned around, waved and hopped down the road. Another 50 yards down, he turned, waved and hopped another 50 yards. And waved again!!!! The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can!! He ran over to the woman and asked, "What is in your spray can? What did you spray on the Easter rabbit?"
The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

Wonder what would have happen if she only had mousse

Last edited by npinks on 18th Oct 2007 11:52 pm. Edited 1 time in total

........

UKdave 104 has just finished reading a book entitled, "YOU CAN BE THE MAN IN YOUR HOUSE".

Dave stormed into the kitchen and went up to his wife and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is LAW. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry then bring my robe. Next you will massge my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair???

Daves wife replies, "the F\/KIN' funeral director would be my first guess."

Keep em coming  ______________________
2011 Full Fat RR 4.4 TDV8
2012 FL2 SD4 Auto HSE
2013 Kawasaki Versys 650