In a leaked document seen by the BDH, Jaguar Land Rover are to move away from their traditional 4x4 vehicles in response to demands from environmental campaigners and the Ramblers Association who are incensed because four wheel drive vehicles leave two deep gouges along greenlanes which make it difficult for small dogs to spot sheep to go after and worry.

JLRs answer is to develop a 3 wheel drive car with off road capability. The idea is that a 3 wheel configuration will result in a more even greenlane surface without ruts. It is not sure if the third wheel will be at the front or rear of the car or even to one side although some close to JLR think they may use the TITC method.

This leaves the problem of what to do with the now redundant fourth wheel and to that end JLR are considering branching out into off-road unicycles which because they can readily be made to raise and lower their hight with a telescopic frame tube would be ideal for tree surgeons. JLR are currently looking for eunuchs to test them.

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