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Matei



Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Location: Galati
Posts: 780

Romania 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 SE Manual Izmir Blue

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?” The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters... First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally exhausted and fainting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
"That should have worked," said the friend.
The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..."
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FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

Post #22247 13th Jun 2008 10:10 am
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npinks
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Joined: 28 Jun 2007
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United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 SE Manual Stornoway Grey

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter
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Post #22253 13th Jun 2008 11:34 am
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chicken george



Joined: 05 Dec 2007
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Vatican 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

anymore like that Sad
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Post #22268 13th Jun 2008 3:27 pm
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Matei



Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Location: Galati
Posts: 780

Romania 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 SE Manual Izmir Blue

A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"
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Post #22269 13th Jun 2008 3:58 pm
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npinks
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United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 SE Manual Stornoway Grey
Fuuny Parrot ....Strong language

this must either be the best parrot ever or its a voice over

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLboDlnLrX4

Contains strong language so be careful at work unless you have your own office Whistle
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Post #22542 18th Jun 2008 9:51 pm
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chicken george



Joined: 05 Dec 2007
Location: Sistine chapel
Posts: 2639

Vatican 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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Post #22663 21st Jun 2008 2:57 pm
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techauthorbob



Joined: 13 Jun 2008
Location: UK, Bingley, oop north
Posts: 29

United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 GS Manual Narvik Black
marriage

When women get married they only think of three things:
1 the aisle that they walk down.
2 the alter they get married at.
3 the first hymn they sing.
So lads bear this these three in mind - I'll Alter Him.
Big Cry

Post #22666 21st Jun 2008 6:11 pm
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chicken george



Joined: 05 Dec 2007
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Vatican 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

http://www.snotr.com/video/1316 Confused
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Post #22812 24th Jun 2008 7:54 am
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snappa



Joined: 16 Apr 2008
Location: Aberdeen
Posts: 548

Scotland 

Bet that was fun to drive home!! Rolling with laughter

Post #22815 24th Jun 2008 8:09 am
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chicken george



Joined: 05 Dec 2007
Location: Sistine chapel
Posts: 2639

Vatican 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

need to give your mother in law a lift?


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Post #22902 25th Jun 2008 9:52 pm
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chicken george



Joined: 05 Dec 2007
Location: Sistine chapel
Posts: 2639

Vatican 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black


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“Everyone else is entitled to an opinion even when they are wrong”

Post #22903 25th Jun 2008 9:52 pm
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npinks
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United Kingdom 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 SE Manual Stornoway Grey

i thought it was CG laying on the beach Whistle
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Post #22911 25th Jun 2008 10:44 pm
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expat



Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Location: masirah island oman
Posts: 20

''i thought it was CG laying on the beach ''
Now im really worried !!!!!!!!! Shocked Smile

Post #22925 26th Jun 2008 4:02 am
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chicken george



Joined: 05 Dec 2007
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Vatican 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

Your worried Shocked I had to sleep with a gun under my pillow after reading that Exclamation
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Post #22927 26th Jun 2008 6:20 am
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chicken george



Joined: 05 Dec 2007
Location: Sistine chapel
Posts: 2639

Vatican 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7472490.stm Shocked
The BBC spoke to the driver of the Toyota, but he said he was "not in the mood to give interviews". Rolling with laughter
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Post #22928 26th Jun 2008 6:27 am
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